Running from Stage Fright- Two Rambles

When thinking of the “ramble” I would participate in, I had a few options but wasn’t quite sure how they would fit. Either way, I will include both of them since they are out of the realm of what I am comfortable with today.

Last Wednesday night I participated in a fashion show for Elevate Lifestyle Magazine hosted at City Tavern in Southpark. We had hair stylists, make up artists, and brought two outfits that displayed our “classic style” and then another outfit displaying our “creative style.” I wanted to participate in this event for something fun to do and to network. I didn’t quite think this fit the idea of a “ramble” because I have done this sort of thing before, all be it several years ago. Nonetheless, I was still very nervous. Right at the start of the show, I was told we were going to be asked questions from the crowd regarding our outfit and style- I had no idea what I would say! While I like fashion per say, I by no means consider myself a designer fashionista- I just like what I like. As it got closer and closer to my turn at being asked a question, I felt my knees get shaky. I didn’t know whether I was supposed to face the person asking my question or smile at the camera. I didn’t know if I was supposed to grab the microphone or just lean in to it. And of course, what scared me the most- what question was I going to be asked? How would I answer it?

My first time answering the question went as smoothly as possible. I was asked about the local boutiques in Charlotte, and that fit perfect because I shop mostly at local boutiques these days, they have finds that are so unique than they typical commercial store. Plus, I like supporting local businesses. The second question? Well, just like Foster said when you are doing great, and then it just all goes blank. “You start doubting yourself, and your mind is automatically lowered your performances to the levels where you feel comfortable again” (Foster 1996). I was asked what has been worst fashion faux pas?

I completely stumbled. I had no idea. I rambled on for a few seconds about “Gee that’s a tough question, and then finally blurted out wearing leather pants.” The audience goes quiet…the girl next to me is wearing leather pants! And I knew that- we had just had a discussion out those leather pants before going on stage. I was embarrassed, and just wanted to run off stage. I apologized to the girl in the leather pants. After I got off stage I thought of the perfect answer, why couldn’t I think of it then?

Alas, it was still a fun event!

My second ramble hasn’t happened yet, but I am signed up for a 10k, 6.2 mile race next Saturday. I have never thought of myself as a runner, in fact I hated running. Thanks to the Nike Running App, I have been challenging myself monthly to run further and further distances. My running this month has been off, and so today, I challenged myself to run the furthest and longest I’ve ever run before- 7 miles.

According to Foster, “when you think about it, accepting the concept that one thing (the mind) can alter another thing (the mind) is a huge leap, a major leap, perhaps even a quantum leap” (Foster 1996).

At first I doubted myself, I thought maybe I will just run halfway and be done with it. Nevertheless, I set my Nike Running App to 7 miles and started running. In order to keep myself going, I counted the lines in the cement until 100, then started over again. This really keeps my mind focused for some reason, and I can keep going. I struggled, but I made it! The fact that I ran 7 miles today makes me confident that I will do just fine at next week’s race- even if it means pacing myself and ending up in last place. I am still running a 10k.

Foster, J. (1996). How to get ideas. San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

A Peaceful Weekend in Western North Carolina

Balsam, NC. A little map dot, and according to the 2010 data, it has a population of 44 people. However, one thing about this area in Western North Carolina in Jackson County, it has a culture rich in history. It's home to several buildings that are on the National Register of Historic Places including the Balsam Mountain Inn, where I had the pleasure of staying for the second time this past weekend.

Being an antique and history lover, the Balsam Mountain Inn is simply nostalgic. According to the Inn's website, www.balsammountaininn.net, construction of the Inn began in 1905. It had 100 rooms, with only a community shower, and it served as a bed and breakfast to those who traveled on the railroad that currently still runs through Balsam. In the early 1990's the Inn was purchased by the current innkeeper, Merrily Teasely, who has restored the Inn to it's original grandeur, but not without a few changes...including combining the 100 small rooms into 50 larger rooms and by adding a shower or claw foot tub.

What makes the Balsam Mountain Inn so appealing, besides it's age and history, is that every room at the Inn is decorated completely different. All of the rooms throughout the three story Inn are different sizes, have different furniture, are painted differently and offer something unique. There are no TV's at the Inn, and very limited wireless access. What they do offer are open windows, two 100 foot porches with rocking chairs, a library, and antiques throughout the hallways that tell of the Inn's previous years. There's also a complimentary breakfast served each morning in the breakfast nook, and the Inn is also open for a delicious, romantic dinner.

Room 234

Thanks to a Groupon deal, this was our second time staying at the Balsam Mountain Inn. The first time we stayed in room 234, located on the second floor with a gorgeous mountain view and overlooking the courtyard.

Decorated in a whimsical turquoise blue, the room has open windows, white furniture and a gorgeous fireplace. The best part about this room is it's location, and the views from all the windows.

Room 313

Our second stay we choose a different room, room 313. It was on the third floor and much larger, but only featured dormer windows to look out of. The decorations were rustic, including the bed frame made out of tree branches that read "Balsam Inn," a very unique touch!

Dinner this weekend was delicious, I had the chicken marsala and Nate had the rib-eye steak. Both meals were amazing and we both cleaned our plates.

Downtown Sylva, NC

Saturday we spent out entire day in downtown historic Sylva, NC, an it was such a fun and pleasant experience. Who knew little towns could be full of such history, inviting community members and fun little shops. We first stopped at the Nichols House, which was built in 1900's by the same architect of the Balsam Mountain Inn. The current owner has turned the old town doctor's house into an antique shop and in every nook and cranny of the house you found more and more interesting antiques. We found two curtain rod studs that we plan to hang above our sliding door window. Our second stop was the old Jackson County Courthouse, which is now turned into a library and museum with all the National Register of Historic Places in the area, which of course featured the Balsam. We made our third stop at Finders Keepers, which had the most interesting antiques from all over. Of course, what would a weekend get-a-way be without trying out a few local breweries? 

Getting our "Gnome on" at Heinzelmannchen Brewery

Our first stop was a funky smelling German Brewery, that was very rustic, the Heinzelmannchen Brewery. We weren't quite sure what to expect, but the German brews were delicious and we ended up staying a while and even talking with the owner about his life in Germany. While the brewery itself was tiny, there was steady stream of local customers stopping in to get their beer and say hello. We ended our visit with of course purchasing one of the pint glasses with a cute German gnome on it. For more information, check out their Facebook page.

Innovation Brewery

According to Innovation Brewery's Facebook page, they just opened for business in October. Innovation Brewery was beautiful inside, everything was made out of wood, even the bar stools. They had a complete list of handcrafted IPAs, stouts and pale ales, including one brew that boasts a 13% alcohol content- needless to say, I only took a few sips of that one.

For more information on this brewery, check out their website: Innovation Brewery.

Our weekend trip was not only relaxing, but inspiring as well. It's great to get away from the stress of work and hustle and bustle of Charlotte, and escape to a place that just takes things a little bit slower. We are already planning out next trip to Balsam Mountain Inn and Jackson County...and this time I hope to stay in one of their tower suites and bring my parents along.

Until next time, Balsam Mountain Inn...

 

What 30 Means to Me

I'll be 25 years old this coming April...five years away from the big 3-0. I still have a little ways to go, but I've always thought 30 was the big age. I've always said, "If you don't have it together by the time you're 30, well then it probably just isn't going to happen."

Recently I came across a little book that I find absolutely amazing.

Thirty Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time she's 30, complete with commentary. Turns out I'm not the only young woman who had a mental list of things I wanted by the time I was 30.

When I was 18, I figured I would graduate college at 22 and probably marry the guy I met in college a year later. I figured at 24 I'd have my first child and at the age of 25 I'd have my perfect career, my family started and everything going for me. Not to mention I'd have my masters degree by my 25th birthday as well.

So where am I on this mental checklist I had? Ha- I've got the college degree. And I was just recently accepted into the Master of Communication Program at Queens University. Two years shy of my goal of being completed at 25, but at least I've got the ball rolling!

If anything, reading this book has made me realize that life is a constant process. We can try and make all the lists of thinking where we should be at a certain point in our lives- but I can tell you it rarely works that way. I’m the same person I was 15 years ago. My feelings and thoughts are the same. Of course I’ve grown and matured and learned a couple things along the way, but I’m still Maegen. Still the same shy little girl.

Growing up I thought time and age changed everything. I thought by the time I would turn 30, I’d have everything I wanted and that 30 was actually kinda old. Now I think it’s the perfect age. I’ve still got 5 more years to go before I’m 30, but I can’t wait to see where life and my experiences take me.

So there's this little thing called the scale...

Something happened the other day that I never thought would. For starters, as a woman I try to make it a point to not step on the scale that much to check my weight. I feel like its unhealthy to constantly be worried about the number that stares back at you. Well, after a couple months of feeling this way, I tried it out. I was shocked by what it said back to me. Matter of fact, I was a little more than shocked. I had a panic attack.

Yes, I had gained some weight. Not enough to where my clothes didn't necessarily fit, but still. In my early 20's I had my weight in check and pretty much knew what it was during certain times of the day. The problem with that is I was becoming obsessive about it. I was never happy with what it said, I always wanted it to be lower. It was never good enough. Mind you, I've always been an avid fitness fanatic. I still keep a routine of usually working out five days a week or more, and I've always worked with a personal trainer just to motivate me and make me do things I'd normally slack on a little. I know how to eat healthy and usually do.

So why the "sudden" increase on the scale?

 

 

This is where it gets a little foreign to me. I'm going to have to go with age. I realize that 24 is still very young, but it's not young enough to have a decrease in metabolism from my teenage years and early 20s. And this is what makes my stomach churn. We women want nothing more than to be healthy, and happy, and look good while we're at it. It's a sinking feeling knowing no matter how hard you try, as you get older you have to change a lot of things with your diet and exercise routine to see the results you used to see. I used to be able to get away with chocolate and Snickers bars and beer and wine and vodka and whatever else you want to throw in there. Now? Maybe not so much.

 

So now what?

 

 

Now that I have calmed down, I understand that it's going to be a little tougher from here on out. Perhaps that glass or two of wine a night is now going to have be changed to once a month. Or better yet, maybe every couple of months. I'm going to have to watch what I eat more closely now, always substituting for the healthiest options..and if I have to have a soda now, it's going to be diet. (I used to absolutely hate the thought of diet soda..My thought was if you're going to drink a soda..DRINK A SODA!) And absolutely no excuse to skip a work out.

 

 

After all, I guess the biggest motivator is the scale....

 

 



Sudden revelations...

So I meant to start blogging when I created this site back in November. Here we are, some 10 months later, and I am just on my second entry. It occured to me as I was going through my twitter archives to actually find the link to this site, I wasn't sure what it was I wanted to write about. I've never been one to air my "dirty laundry" so to speak or talk of my daily problems. But there is one thought that always seems to be on my mind these days: College was so much better than the "real world."

I graduated from Coastal Carolina University two years ago now. I couldn't wait for that day, the day I would be "free." The day I would be able to go on vacations if I needed to, the day when I would have free time and not have to worry about studying or any last minute articles I needed to write since I was the editor of the school newspaper. Basically, I thought I'd be stress-free. I thought I'd be able to find the perfect job off the bat and make all the money I would need. Well, folks- it doesn't always go that way!

I've learned in my two years in the working world that a college degree does not gaurantee that high-earning job. You pretty much still have to start right off at the bottom, working on a small hourly basis or even on commission. (COMMISSION! I don't even like sales!!)

Quit frankly- it sucks. College was so much better. I've discovered that I'm happier in a learning environment doing work that I actually love. Writing articles for the newspaper, attending events to interview people and to later feature. I loved writing that 40 pages for my thesis paper on Social Media: Women's Body Image in Society. That was what made me tick. Back then, I thought it was all just a means to an end and I just couldn't wait for it to end. It's sad to think that back then I was rushing something that I thought would never end. But it did.

Instead, I find myself working dead-end jobs that I don't even enjoy, especially everytime I take a look at my bank account. I finally came to the revelation just yesterday:

In college, I had so much more going for me.

 

Something's got to give. Something's got to change. I need something more challenging, something that I love doing. And something long term. I just hope I can figure out what sooner than later.

 



First blog- A little background just to get started

So here it is. My very first blog. That's kind of interesting since I graduated college with a communication and journalism degree and all I did was write. I guess the thought of sharing what's going on in this crazy head of mine with the public was a little daunting.

But at this point in my life- I need it. I need to be more expressive and not bottle feelings up inside. And plus, I kinda miss writing!

I'm 23 years old, born and raised in bummtown, SC. I was brought up as only child with two older parents who, even though the thought of it makes me wince, spoiled me. I graduated high school and attended Coastal Carolina University where I was the editor of the school's newspaper. All my life, I "modeled" and I have established myself more as a swimsuit model these passed years. And no, that doesn't mean anything. Just means I've taken a lot of photos and got some pretty cool trips out of the deal, and also had copious amounts of less than worthly people trying to hit on me. It's fun sometimes.

After graduation, I got a full time job working in sales at an Anheuser-Busch dsitributer. It wasn't what I wanted to do, and Myrtle Beach was not the place I wanted to be anymore. Combine that with a nasty break up, and one Tuesday morning I snapped. I looked up apartments in Charlotte, and that Saturday I signed a lease. Monday morning I told my boss my rash decision. Everyone thought I was nuts. They all said, "You can't just quit a job," and I said, "Yes. I can. I just did. And I had to do it for me."

In a very basic nutshell, that sums up how I got to Charlotte. And yes, I'm still looking for the right job. Not a job, but the right job. Not only am I new and jobless in the city as I call it, I'm also, you guessed it, single for the first time in my life. Six months ago I would of laughed if someone told me this would be my current situation. Six months ago I was also very unhappy with the life I was living. I wanted more. Since that decision, my life has taken a complete 360. I'm happy about it but sad at the same time. And I believe this is why I wanted to start a blog on this very night.

I feel like this was a fair enough introduction. Tomorrow I will talk about what's really bothering me this days- relationships. Actually, most of my blogs will probably be on that subject. Feedback is welcome and appreciated : )

Thanks and have a great night!